Why isn’t the Law of Attraction working???!

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wellbeingI’m going to share something very personal with you in this post.  But first of all, I’d like to thank you with all my heart, visiting this blog up until now and reading my posts.

The thing is, I started this blog because I wanted to make it a useful resource for anyone interested in joyous wellbeing.  Being of help to others is a great intention and having read a lot about the Law of Attraction and seeing it in action, and having taken and delivered courses on wellbeing, I honestly thought there would be loads to offer you!  And , of course, there is an infinite amount… but…

…after nearly a year of running this blog, I reached a crisis moment this New Year.  I knew I’d been glossing over something for far too long.  Something I hoped I could ignore and it would just go away.  Now the time had come to look it in the eye, face on.  During the 8 months that I’d been out of work and had plenty of time to develop this blog and start making some money online, I had very little progress to show for it.  I’d learned a lot and spent a whole load of money in the process, but my grand idea of helping others and running a successful online business was failing – BIG TIME!  I simply wasn’t inspired enough and as a result, I didn’t feel like I was really connecting with you.  I was failing you, my wonderful, beautiful readers, because you weren’t getting the best service you deserve from me.

My crisis brought me right down.  Being usually a very optimistic, happy person, it was a shock to suddenly and quickly fall into a deep depression. I was very, very low and started staying in bed longer and not doing anything much at all.  If you’ve ever experienced depression, maybe you’ll know what I’m talking about.  But during this time out phase, I finally faced up to the fact that I was STUCK and that throughout my life, it had nearly always been the same pattern that I was playing out.  I got stuck all too easily, almost every time I tried to change something about myself or my life.  Which meant that no matter what I might do – start something else new, or continuing to press on with this blog or move to a new place and start over – the same pattern would continue to play itself out.

Can you imagine how depressing this realisation was?  Facing up to being stuck was terrible, because it also meant facing my deepest fears – that I was failing my readers; that I would never have the consistently proactive, upbeat, can-do mindset needed to run a business; that I would never be able to live with my wonderful boyfriend in the middle of France – miles away from me; that I would spend another year of getting more and more broke and as a result, not being able to afford to see my beautiful daughter as often as we both wished; that I would be stuck here in Switzerland, unable to cross the border without a steady income and would have to find more exhausting work here and probably get ill again in the process.  And even though I understand how the Law of Attraction works and have often seen it in action in my life, I felt a fraud – spouting all sorts of great things about it and yet not being able to get it to work for me!  And because I felt like a fraud, I was embarrassed and ashamed, too.  I was letting you down, I was letting my loved-ones down and I was letting myself down.

I knew that everything I feared would come to pass this year unless I could shift myself permanently into another way of being, of thinking, of operating.  I knew I couldn’t do this alone, because I was blocked by filters, which gave me only my own perception of the world.  I needed help, so I started to ask myself what kind of help I was looking for.  In the end, I felt that a mentor would offer me the best solution.  Someone who would be there to constantly remind me of my flawed thinking and help me turn it around.  Someone who would be totally non-judgemental and accept me for who I am in any given moment.

So I spent an intensive few days focusing my attention on imagining this kind of help and how I might feel afterwards.   …

…And what do you know?  Just 3 days later, a webinar came into my life, that would bring me the shift I was looking for!   Watch this space for more…  :)

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